I have always been a very forgiving person. Holding grudges and being bitter is just not who I am, it never has been. This is why I find it very interesting that in the last few months, forgiveness has come up in discussion several times. It wasn’t truly until the last time that I was faced with this topic that I stopped and asked myself: Do I have some forgiving to do?
I was given a book by Reverend Mark Anthony Lord who founded the Center for Spiritual Living in Chicago and is now a dear friend. His book, The Seven Living Words, is an incredible count of Jesus’s seven last words and the powerful interpretation that they have in today’s world. Forgiveness was the first of the seven words and intentionally so. It is challenging, if not impossible, to live your best life with any resentment or bitterness in your heart. After reading this chapter, I stopped, asked myself if I needed to forgive and then moved on knowing that I would give myself an “A” in the subject of forgiveness if I had to. I even asked my best friend, Catherine, and she agreed that I was a very forgiving person, so I was all good!
About a month later, I was visiting the marketing manager, Kimberly, at the Ruby Room in Wicker Park. I was introducing her to Reflect in hopes that they would carry the line in their beautiful space! The meeting went well and we are having a trunk show with the Ruby Room on August 8th if you are around! At the end of our meeting Kimberly said: “Colleen can do a 10-minute reading for you!”
I was a bit taken aback as I had not walked into the Ruby Room with the intent of receiving a reading, but I could not say no. I sat down with Colleen and felt very comfortable being surrounded with her positive light and energy. She relayed some very affirming insight about my current journey but mentioned that there was someone or something that I still had to forgive before things really fell in place. I found this very interesting and pondered it for a while, but soon after, forgot about the comment.
This last month, I was gifted a CD called The Choice of Forgiveness by the founders of Dream Manifesto (www.dreammanifesto.com). Although I have never met Aviva and Thomas, they are long-time friends, if that makes any sense at all! They are lights in our life and give us so much love and support and shower us with positive thinking. The Choice of Forgiveness mini course on CD contains subliminal sessions to help you master the art of forgiveness by consciously choosing to forgive.
By this point, I was a bit weirded out and wondered what on earth I needed to forgive. I truly felt like a very forgiving person. Needless to say, I was touched by the gift and started listening to it every evening. Questions went through my mind…do I need to forgive my parents? My brother? Friends who I have felt hurt by? I still didn’t get it.
I told Aviva that I wanted to return her gesture with a sincere testimonial of her product. Although the product was great, I hadn’t felt a huge shift or had any major realizations and wanted to be very honest and genuine in my testimonial.
It wasn’t until yesterday, after weeks of listening to The Choice of Forgiveness, that my “a-ha” moment hit me…
I needed to forgive myself.
I was saying my affirmations as I do before I go to bed and using a workbook from Joe Vitale to help me. The affirmations had to do with being abundant and deserving financial freedom. Joe asked a question that struck a chord and created a domino effect in my mind, and in my heart.
“Do you feel as though you should be further along today than you are?”
The answer to that question was a resonating YES! I love my company, I love what I do, I love my customers and I genuinely feel as though I am living out my purpose every single day. I do also feel that the business should be growing more than it is and touching more lives than it is today.
I stopped and pondered this tangled web of thoughts in my mind. I didn’t know what to believe or think. Should we be more successful than we are? Who defines success? Are we already successful? Is this the typical timeline of any start-up business? And so on and so forth, you get the idea!
And you may guess what conclusion I came to. I realized that I have been putting so much pressure on myself for not being an “overnight” success, for not taking the company from 0 to 1M in 6 months (exaggerating here), and for not being further along than I had anticipated when I started…..but that it was OK!!!!!!
It is OK that the journey is taking longer. It is OK that we are faced with challenges that we didn’t expect. It is OK that we are not an overnight success. It is OK.
You may have failed to achieve certain goals, but you are not a failure.
You may have missed opportunities, but more opportunities will come.
You may have taken one too many risks, but high risks always pay off in some way or another.
Forgive yourself.
The journey is unfolding every day and each day is a success, a huge success! We started this business to empower people and if we can empower even one person a day, then we are a huge success!
So, I, Caroline Yacu, declare, on this 21st day in July of 2008, that I forgive myself for not always hitting my Reflect sales goals, or not always knowing the answer to certain challenges, and not being an “overnight” success in the eyes of the world. To me, deep down, I know that I am a success.
I encourage you to think about forgiveness in your own life. Do you also need to forgive yourself? You owe it to yourself to at least think about it.
After all, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
